Bad Habits or Just Insecurity?
There have been many different flavors of habits of thought that I have had over the years, such as compulsively thinking about food or my weight, obsessing over money, worrying about my children and ruminating about the past to name a few.
I read in George Pransky’s book, The Relationship Handbook, that insecurity leads to distracted behaviors.
It resonated with me that if I looked behind all of my flavors and patterns of thought (which can appear difficult to do as the content of my thinking (food, money, the past) compels me to look directly at it, there is something deeper to see.
When I am aligned with the truth, that I am divinely connected in this moment to the Source of life, then a feeling of security, centeredness and connection flows through me (via Thought) and most of the behaviors that come from my distracted, habitual thinking don’t tend to show up as frequently.
On the other hand, when I lose sight of this truth, when I forget that I am divinely connected, then a feeling of insecurity or disconnection flows through me (via Thought) and I find myself really interested in my habits of thought. Actually I don’t even see them as habits or as thought; I see them as the truth.
I really do need to think and obsess about food and what I’m eating and step on the scale and worry about money and penny pinch and think about how my kids are doing all day.
So the question is where do I want to put my focus? On the content of my spinning or what’s behind it? Maybe my habit is a wake up call reminding me I’ve stepped out of alignment with the spiritual truth that everything flowing through me is of a divine nature.
When I remember that, I am secure in that knowledge. The system has now reset itself and chances are that the flavor of my habit has receded and isn’t seeming as compelling anymore.
So maybe my “bad habits” don’t define me or my character, but rather let me know how aligned I am with G-d in the moment.
