Which Glasses are you Wearing?
Someone asked me to meet with her 9 year old daughter because she is struggling with bullying and has become so negative, always seeming bothered and angry. She wanted to know if teaching her daughter about thought could help with this. I said of course. As I sat wondering to myself, how am I going to explain this to a 9 year old, an idea popped in my mind.
First I told her that thoughts are like a stream and they naturally flow and change on their own. Then I told her that when a thought comes in a person’s mind, they feel it in their body.
I took out two pairs of glasses (one regular and one sunglasses). I told her everyone is wearing one of these glasses. When someone puts on the regular glasses, they see that their feelings are coming from the thoughts in their head. When someone puts on the sunglasses, they see that their feelings are coming from something outside of them (the mean kids in school, their siblings, their teacher, the weather).
It doesn’t matter which glasses we are wearing. In truth we all wear both of them at different times. However, if we are clear which ones we are wearing, our behavior will look different. If I am wearing the clear glasses, I will know that my feelings are coming from within me and as I let my thoughts settle, my feeling will change and I will get a new thought.
If I am wearing the sunglasses, I will think my feelings are coming from you or the situation and I will blame, which causes thoughts to get racier rather than settle. In a racier mind, we will never get the answers or solutions we are looking for to make our life better.
At the end of the short session I asked this little girl what she heard. I was amazed. She knew exactly what she would do depending on which glasses she had on. She even came up with a new idea of how to react to the “mean” girls that were running away from her when she had on the clear glasses.
Many of us live in a misunderstanding of where our experience comes from. However, we all have within us the ability to insight-fully uncover the understanding of where our experience really comes from.
