Finding the Right Therapist
Finding the right therapist isn't always easy.
In many ways, it's like finding a shidduch-there needs to be a sense of connection, trust, and resonance. You want to feel seen, understood, and safe in the presence of someone who can hold all of your emotions while also inspiring hope and creating a sense of possibility.
As an LCSW, Certified IFS therapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional Level 2 (CCTP-II), as well as 6+ years of Sod Haadam learning, my intention is to create a space where all parts of you are welcome, even those you may have tried to hide, silence, or get rid of.
You are not alone. And you don't have to heal alone.
We All Carry Pain
Each of us walks through life carrying some form of pain-whether it's heartbreak, trauma, fear, loneliness or shame.
Over time, we learn to manage that pain the best way we know how.
Some of us try to control it by striving for perfection, people-pleasing, staying busy, or tightly managing everything around us. Others try to avoid it by shutting down, distracting ourselves, dissociating, numbing out, or turning to behaviors that feel comforting in the moment but may create more pain long-term.
These protective strategies helped us survive, but they can also leave us feeling stuck or disconnected from our true Self.
How I Work
My therapeutic approach is gentle, collaborative, and deeply compassionate. I integrate:
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) - helping you explore your inner world of "parts" with empathy and curiosity
- Somatic therapy - supporting your nervous system and reconnecting with your body in a safe, attuned way
- Attachment-based healing - working through relational wounds and building a more secure connection to yourself and others
- Trauma-informed care - always honoring your story, your pace, and your boundaries
I believe that healing begins when we stop trying to "fix" ourselves-and start listening to all the parts within us that are trying so hard to help. The beauty of this work is that we don't get rid of these parts-we get to know them, understand them, and create a new relationship with them. With time, we can shift from feeling stuck or overwhelmed to feeling more spacious, grounded, and free.
Creating an Inner Landscape of Compassion
Many of us are run by perfectionist, hypervigilant, or self-critical parts. We may be flooded with inner critics, anxious or overwhelmed parts working tirelessly to manage life. These parts often feel desperate, exhausted, or hopeless.
Real change happens when we stop pushing these parts away-and start listening to them with attunement.
As we build this inner landscape of compassion, something beautiful happens: We begin to experience less self-judgment and less internal strife as we learn to welcome every part of us, even the ones that seem "unhealthy" or uncomfortable. We explore the fears, insecurities and shame beneath the surface. With time we can shift from feeling stuck or overwhelmed to feeling more spacious, grounded and free
Letting the True Self (our Soul) Lead
As we develop a deeper relationship with our internal system, something powerful begins to happen:
Our true Self-the part of us that is calm, wise, loving, and connected-begins to emerge.
From this place, we can lead our lives with strength, courage, and clarity.
We become the stable, secure adult we always needed.
We build internal trust, emotional safety, and greater resilience.
This is the journey of healing.
It's about learning to believe in your own goodness (emun), to stand in your worth, and to give yourself full permission to become who you truly are.
You Deserve to Know Your Worth
You are not too much.
You are not too broken.
And you are not alone.
You deserve to live with connection, clarity, and confidence.
You deserve to feel the steady ground beneath your feet and the quiet strength within your heart.
You deserve to know your true value-not because of what you do, but because of who you are.
Therapy Is a Collaborative Journey
There's no one-size-fits-all path to healing.
You are the expert of your own experience. My role is to walk alongside you-with presence, compassion, and deep respect for your pace and your process.
This is a space where all of you is welcome. Every part. Every feeling. Every sensation.
You already hold the capacity to heal. It would be my honor to support you along your journey toward inner safety and Self-leadership.
Finding the right therapist isn't always easy. I like to say finding a therapist is like finding a shidduch (marriage partner). There has to be a connection, a feeling that this person understands me and can hold space for all of my feelings, as well as inspire a sense of hopefulness and create an environment of safety.
I believe we are all walking through life carrying pain, trauma and/or heartbreak in many areas. Perhaps we struggle in an anxious/avoidant marriage, or feel despair about still being single or hurt because each of our children has a different nisayon (test) that feels unbearable.
We have learned along the way how to manage that pain. Some of us try really hard to prevent it by people pleasing, being perfect or controlling, while others avoid it at all cost by shutting down, distracting themselves with various types of behavior (some addictive) or disassociating.
Some of these behavioral choices are productive and adaptive and some become destructive and maladaptive. The beauty of taking this therapeutic journey is to uncover how our own psychological system is designed, understand what has been blocked, and discover and empathize with the protective nature of all of our parts, so that we have more freedom and choice to become who we were meant to become in the world.
Many of us may feel controlled or flooded by some of our hypervigilant parts that working tirelessly to help us navigate life, yet feel unsuccessful and frustrated that things aren't changing. The key to change is in creating an internal landscape of acceptance and compassion for all of our parts, no matter how "unhealthy" or hurtful they may at first appear.
This is a journey of uncovering our fears, anxieties and insecurities, noticing parts that want to control the process and other parts that want to let go of control, parts that are critical and shame us and parts that want us to feel like we are enough. We each have a unique blend of internal polarized parts that sometimes create confusion or the feeling of being stuck, but as we get to know, and even appreciate them, we experience their transformation.
When our true SELF emerges, we have access to that place inside of us that is spacious, loving, wise, connecting and compassionate. We all want to live from a Self-led place more of the time: to feel a secure, stable grounding under our feet so we can navigate life's tricky terrain.
This is a journey of learning how to be that secure adult for ourselves in our own lives and how to give emun, the gift of believing in our innate goodness and greatness, to ourselves and our loved ones.
This is a journey of giving ourselves permission to be who we really are because we all deserve to know and feel our true value and worthiness. Allowing our true SELF to emerge and lead our lives from a place of strength, clarity and courage is the gift of change we all seek. It would be my honor to support you on this journey.
Aviva Barnett is an orthodox Jewish woman who combines Torah wisdom and spirituality with her training and experience to form a unique therapeutic experience. Deep healing while uncovering your true self is available to everyone, no matter your struggles, pain or circumstances.