High Stakes

I had a couple of calls from women this week with real dilemmas. After going to many different types of therapies, one woman is still considering leaving her husband. The other one is plagued by the choices she has made and how destructive they have been for her marriage and children. The guilt is plunging her into a clinical depression....[ read more ]

Purim: Finding Calm in the Storm

With Purim approaching, it's quite appropo to talk about being calm in the midst of a storm. We can all go on about costumes, meltdowns, children on sugar highs, trying to coordinate deliveries, all with a smile on our face, while preparing a big meal for lots of guests. A few moments of presence can be worth everything. My intention...[ read more ]

Which Glasses am I Wearing Now?

Someone asked me to meet with her 14 year old daughter because she is struggling with insecurity about fitting in with her friends and constantly ruminating about what they are thinking of her. After I shared with her the idea that thoughts are like a stream and they naturally flow and change on their own, I gave her an analogy....[ read more ]

Supporting Our Children

When our child is going through something difficult, it can be really hard not to be a drama queen about it. "OMG, you wouldn't believe what my son did or said (yada yada yada)." Making the issue into a bigger problem doesn't help. A child in a difficult situation is probably filled with their own anxious feelings and insecurities. Throwing...[ read more ]

Life is a Blank Canvas

When I wake up in the morning and look out my window, it appears as if I am looking at a magnificent canvas, a picture with vast colors and images that I could never have draw because I'm not artistic. Then there are days I wake up and look out my window and think it's quite drab, dark and dingy....[ read more ]

Feeling Inadequate

I get that we each have a lot of evidence to point to this "truth." Look at how I yell at my kids. I get so angry. See how badly I failed. I messed up again. I still can't get it right. See, I made the same mistake for the 100th time. No matter how many times you yell, how...[ read more ]


I'm not sure which feels worse: being rejected or the pain of watching your child be rejected. Whether it's rejected by a friend, seminary or yeshiva, a shidduch, a job or a part in the school play, it hurts. What's strange though is that the intensity of feeling rejected over something changes and not everyone is bothered in the same...[ read more ]

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Parenting

Do you sometimes feel like you are on a rollercoaster ride with your child as the conductor, bringing you high when she is doing well, feeling successful and happy and plummeting low when he is struggling, in pain and distressed? I used to believe that I could only be ok and have a good day if my child was ok....[ read more ]

Is My Spouse Responsible for My Well-Being?

I can't decide if I want the answer to be yes or no. If he is responsible, then I would hope he would take his responsibility seriously and make me feel good most, if not, all of the time. And if he is irresponsible with the task at hand, then am I a victim destined to misery? In thinking about...[ read more ]

It’s Painfully Cold… Or is it?

I had the most interesting experience the other day. Since this cold weather has been around, I have been painfully cold. As I drive my numerous carpools throughout the day and night, I fret about being so cold until the car warms up (sometimes I get all the way there and back before it even warms up). Then on shabbos...[ read more ]

Ride The Wave

By Aviva Barnett, MSW

Discover the secret to living
with peace of mind.

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