We can make meaning out of anything…

We can make meaning out of anything…

I had this belief–“it’s enough that I have to do everyone’s laundry, but do I also have to turn all of the socks and undershirts inside out or right side in, whatever you would call that annoying thing you have to do to clothes after someone gets undressed the “wrong” way?”

It drove me mad at times. Why can’t my husband be considerate of me and my time. How many times do I need to remind him to turn his clothes right side in.

I sort of understand that my kids can’t seem to remember when they get undressed (at this point I’m just happy the dirty clothes make it into the laundry basket–sometimes!). But my husband, he’s the other adult here.

After years of being bothered as I turned his socks right side in and muttering under my breath about how unfair this was, how inconsiderate he was, how if only he thought for a second about me, he would do it, if he really loved me….

Then I got an idea. Instead of being so mad about it, just don’t do it. I signed up to do the laundry, but not this part. So one day I decided to put all of his socks and undershirts away (clean of course) inside out. (I’d love to say it was an insight, but I definitely had a more than slight feeling of I’ll show you, ha, can’t wait until you notice).

The next day he said to me in total sincerity, “You’re a genius! That was the smartest thing ever. I never intentionally don’t turn my socks and undershirts right side in. I just don’t think about it. It doesn’t really matter to me whether I do it when I get undressed or when I get dressed in the morning.”

How do you like that? He was so happy that I found such a simple solution to something that bothered me for so long. It had nothing to do with him not being considerate, not loving me, not thinking my time wasn’t valuable…it just had to do with the fact that he didn’t think about it.

He actually found it quite funny when I told him that I didn’t do it as a smart solution but rather as a bit of a dig. Since he really was innocently doing it without any of the meaning I was making out of it, we were able to have a good laugh about it.

After wasting years being angry, aggravated and bothered over the socks and undershirts, now I smile as I fold his stuff inside out.

How often do we make up stuff in our minds about all sorts of things and then wonder why we feel frustrated, insecure or annoyed? There is a thought/feeling connection that we don’t always remember is part of the equation.

Ride The Wave

By Aviva Barnett, MSW

Discover the secret to living
with peace of mind.

Buy Now!

Send Aviva a Message, Comment or Question

By submitting this form via this web portal, you acknowledge and accept the risks of communicating your health information via this unencrypted email and electronic messaging and wish to continue despite those risks. By clicking "Yes, I want to submit this form" you agree to hold Brighter Vision harmless for unauthorized use, disclosure, or access of your protected health information sent via this electronic means.


(973) 865-9062