Getting Back on Track
“So are you back on track?” my cousin asked me today.
Between summer vacation, getting kids adjusted to school, traveling for work and a family bar mitzvah, I feel like routine has been elusive.
As I answered “we are getting there,” I was struck with the following thought.
The only reason I feel a need to get back on track is because I believe that there is an idea of being off track (which sort of implies a problem..as if off track is bad and on track is good).
If I wasn’t wedded to what “on track” looks like (schedule, routine, everything running smoothly), then I might not be as bothered when things are “off track.”
I’m struck with how I just made up the parameters and guide posts for what’s on or off track. If those parameters were more fluid, more flexible, not as set in stone, the contrast between the two experiences wouldn’t create distress.
Distress is experienced because of my expectations (how long it should or shouldn’t take to get back on track, what running smoothly or lack of routine means) and my beliefs (there is a track to get back on in the first place, being off track is a problem).
Once I let go of these ideas, distress vanishes. Space opens up. The track just looks like life unfolding as G-d runs the world and I get to be a passenger in His car on the road.
