I had a couple of calls from women this week with real dilemmas. After going to many different types of therapies, one woman is still considering leaving her husband. The other one is plagued by the choices she has made and how destructive they have been for her marriage and children. The guilt is plunging her into a clinical depression.
The first one had a realization that before making such a dramatic decision which may affect her children negatively, she wants to make sure she is emotionally stable. She doesn’t want to make the decision from an unhealthy place and have regrets later. The other woman just wanted to know if there was any hope for her.
I thought that reaching out was incredibly wise and healthy.
I talked for a few minutes to each of them about the innate resilience we all have to go through challenges, the ability to access clarity and wisdom even in tough circumstances and an understanding of how human beings function psychologically which points us toward where our feelings are coming from.
When we are able to forgive ourselves, not blame others for our unhappiness and see the truth that everyone is always doing the best they can with the thinking they have in the moment (ourselves included), then our minds begin to settle down as they were designed to do. Waiting for emotional stability to surface when the stakes are high is the most resilient thing I have ever heard.
My take away: imagine being willing to wait until we felt centered and emotionally stable before making decisions or saying something, even when the stakes aren’t so high.
