Permission to Change

Permission to Change

​I had a title dilemma. Permission to move on? Permission to let go? Permission to be? Permission to feel? I chose Permission to Change because I think it encompasses all of the above.

While walking with a good friend, she told me how hard it has been since the passing of her mother. She spent many months crying and in pain whenever she thought about her. Then she shared this amazing insight.

She woke up to a belief she didn’t even realize she had. If she is happy, then she isn’t honoring her mother’s death, therefore she needs to stay sad and depressed. Then she had another thought. My mom would never want that. She would rather me celebrate life to honor her.

Most of her sadness lifted once she gave herself permission to let go of that belief. She had permission to move on from mourning her life to celebrating it. (BTW, this does not mean she never cries when thinking about her mother).

We all do this. We have beliefs that we don’t see as thought and then wonder why we walk around suffering. It looked like the loss of her mother rather than the thinking she had about how to honor her.

If we believe moving on is disrespectful, if we believe letting go is irresponsible, if we believe negative feelings are problematic, then is it any wonder why we don’t move on, let go or give ourselves permission to feel?

What if we made those connections up? Not everyone thinks moving on is disrespectful. Not everyone thinks letting go is irresponsible. Not everyone has a problem with uncomfortable feelings.

Can I give myself permission to change? Leaving room for a fresh perspective can make all the difference in the world.

May G-d grant us the insights we need to see beyond our self-limiting beliefs. All we need to do is give ourselves permission to listen.

Speak Your Mind

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Ride The Wave

By Aviva Barnett, MSW



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