When our child is going through something difficult, it can be really hard not to be a drama queen about it. “OMG, you wouldn’t believe what my son did or said (yada yada yada).”
Making the issue into a bigger problem doesn’t help. A child in a difficult situation is probably filled with their own anxious feelings and insecurities. Throwing ours into the mix only muddies the waters.
What if we could normalize their feelings as well as our own? Meaning, it’s totally normal to be anxious or upset right now. Ease the reason to judge or criticize. Focus on who they are underneath their intense feelings or unwanted behaviors. Give them space to settle. Trust in their resilience. Believe in them.
Now, I don’t know how to tell you to “do” any of those things (ease, focus, give, trust or believe), but I do know these are what show up when we are not bogged down in our ego (judgmental) thinking about our children.
Maybe the simplest way to support our children is by letting go of our preconceived notions of who they are or should be and letting them just be.
