We all live in a lot of thought. We know that. Lots of it is self-critical, judgmental and negative. We think we aren’t good enough. We think we don’t deserve. We think we are messing things up (our children, marriages, jobs). We think we aren’t worthy. We worry about everything and fear the worst possible outcomes even more.
We have a lot of expectations of ourselves: to be perfect, to be more of everything (more giving, patient, compassionate or available). We believe we should handle life better, not get angry ever, have more guests and spend less money. We think we shouldn’t be struggling, life should be fair and we are victims to our circumstances.
I haven’t even mentioned our thinking about our bodies. We have judgments and expectations about the number on the scale, the size of our skirts, what we put in our mouths, what we don’t put in our mouths, whether we exercise too much or too little.
I mean, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and thought, “wow you look good today.” Instead you say “the dress it too tight, what was I thinking putting this on, everyone’s going to think I look fat,”all the while re-positioning yourself as you turn this way and that way to get a better look in the mirror hoping to find a less problematic angle.
We wouldn’t even consider thinking we look good because that would be haughty. We don’t have permission to think that (because we aren’t good enough, don’t deserve to feel comfortable in the body we have as it is right now and aren’t worthy).
BIG PAUSE
So what if you are not who you think you are?
You are so much more than you could ever imagine. You are a daughter of the king, a precious, pure neshama (soul) that sometimes gets lost because of your thinking. But that doesn’t change your essence. Your essence is healthy, resilient and connected to Hashem always… but for the thought “no I’m not,” you are.
